Jack’s Blog

Recently, I read a story about Peyton Manning and a pretty absurd request from a fan which he managed to wriggle out of by concocting an excuse nearly anyone would have seen through.  I can’t remember the exact details but I do recall thinking it was mandatory that he get out of whatever the awkward situation was - and, hence, didn’t blame him for the fabrication.

That article jogged my memory to an event that occurred at Michael Jordan’s camp in August of ‘05.  I blogged about it several years ago, but it bears repeating if only to read how otherwise normal people act in the face of “royalty” (each of the people in the story I consider normal - except for their performance on that particular day).

Considering most of the kids at Michael Jordan’s camp (ages 8-18) don’t remember seeing MJ as a player, observing the adults is much more interesting than following the kids.  The most amazing story occurred two years ago at the tenth anniversary of the camp.

There was to be a mystery guest speaker on the third night and the speculation ran wild as to the identity.  The camp’s director is George Raveling.  If you’ve read my blogs, you’ll know I worked with George as a graduate assistant at Washington State in the early ’70s, as an associate head coach at USC in the early ’90s and as assistant chairman on the Recruiting Committee of which he was chairman for about 17 years in between.  During the second day of MJ’s camp, George confided in me the speaker in question was Larry Brown, recently signed as coach of the Knicks, who had a fabulous coaching career which included an NCAA Championship at Kansas and an NBA World Championship with the Pistons.

Later that evening, I was approached on five separate occasions by parents asking me who the speaker was going to be.  Each conversation went something like this:

Parent: “Who’s the mystery guest?”

JF: “I can’t tell you.”

Parent: “But you know who it is?”

JF: “Yes.”

Parent: “Oh, come on, you can tell me (us).”

JF (looking around surreptitiously): “OK, it’s…George W. Bush.”

On no occasion, not once! did anyone question my answer.  I got replies from, “Oh, great, he’s my favorite” to “Good, that will be a great experience for my son” to, believe it or not, “I wonder if he’ll wear shorts.”  No one ever said, “Come on, you’ve got to be kidding.”

I did eventually tell them it really wasn’t the President.  They were all disappointed, but not one of them said, “I knew you were putting me on.”

Reminds me of the old line:

“Did you know that the word ‘gullible’ isn’t in the dictionary?”

It doesn’t seem that long ago that I would hear my father, my coaches and others from their generation moan about where the players from “the good old days” had gone.  No one compared to DiMaggio, Red Grange or George Mikan.  Now, I (and the guys from my time) are the ones who complain about the new, hip-hop breed.  You know, the guys with the posses, mega-contracts and tattoos, who act like they care more about street cred, money and endorsements than winning.

If there’s anyone who can bridge the gap between this generation and those of the past, it’s Kevin Durant.  No one dislikes this guy.  In the era of “I want mine,” he’s on record as requesting a contract extension with the Oklahoma City Thunder, a team playing about as far from a major media market as there is in pro sports.  While he’s certainly not underpaid (and lockout or not), he could play out his contract and head into free agency where, if he decided to opt out, might sign a deal to dwarf all others.

Everything about Durant reeks of class.  While he’s not as comfortable speaking in front of a large group (as say, MJ or Shaq, are), he’ll find a way to connect with the crowd, whether it means staying for as long as necessary to sign every autograph request or, in the case of his Nike camp, throw himself into the drills with the campers.

On the floor, while many might argue with the statement he has no equal, there’s no way he takes a backseat to anyone either.  Listen to him with the current USA team - which he chose to play for rather than resting during his down time - and he not only says all the right things, but is so sincere saying them.

His work on the floor isn’t bad either, as he displayed by not only scoring, but coming up with two game-saving blocks to beat Spain yesterday.

Norman Vincent Peale once said - and feel free to add Kevin Durant to the list:

“Never talk defeat.  Use words like hope, belief, faith, victory.” 

Since I just returned from working at the Michael Jordan Flight School (for the seventh year), my opinion of him is, admittedly, biased.  This year, because none of the campers remember MJ, the player, one hour during each of the two sessions activities were suspended and the video “Come Fly with Me” was shown.  Each youngster emerged from the auditorium with a greater appreciation of their host’s remarkable skills.  As I mentioned earlier, my evaluation is prejudiced but, to me, he is the greatest player who ever represented the NBA.

Yet, aside from his talent on the court, Michael Jordan possesses some additional attributes that are undeniable.  Sure, he’s at each session on time (usually in the morning and evening - afternoons are reserved for golf).  And while he has an abundance of friends who visit, he’s from the non-posse era.  But it’s more than that.  Simply put, the guy has a presence. 

Independent of what he’s wearing - even if it’s only jeans and a t-shirt (naturally, one with no “bacon neck”) - he looks like a million.  His smile is infectious.  He exudes confidence, class and charisma.  But watching him at his camp, an observer takes in something else.  He actually enjoys interacting with the kids and answering their questions - some of which can be pretty creative.

That made this year’s edition (the 15th) just like the others that preceded it.  Michael spoke to the campers about the importance of free throws and gave pointers on dealing with pressure, challenged some of them to competitions, awarded free shoes to youngsters - and up to ten friends of their choice - if they made shots and took pictures with each team, coach, administrator and worker in attendance.  The final highlight is when everyone at camp lines up and receives an authenticated Michael Jordan autograph - on anything of their choice (with some limitations - hey, Nike’s not paying him all that dough and not invoking exclusivity).

Selecting Santa Barbara for the camp’s site was not done by picking a name out of a hat.  The weather is incredible, the facilities at UCSB are phenomenal and the golf courses are exquisite.  In addition, the Bacara Resort & Spa is used to accommodating celebrities, meaning he can eat, come and go without being bombarded.

Ann Landers’ quote sums up Michael Jordan perfectly:

“Class is the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.”

Each one of the hundreds of players who competed in Las Vegas last weekend has dreams of moving on to continue their career in college.  Whether they get to play where they want - or if they get to put on a college uniform at all - likely depends on what college coaches saw when they were evaluating.  The operative word here is saw.  Being seen is mandatory. 

For the top tier players, they got a taste of the recruiting process well before they were contacted by any institution of higher learning.  The war to obtain the services of the upper echelon high school star can be worse than the recruitment he faces from the colleges - and that’s mainly because the colleges are under NCAA rules, which are infinitely more strict than those summer league coaches, shoe reps, or “runners” for sports agents have to adhere to.  If there are any at all! 

Players are wooed by “organizations” with all the (legal) perks - flown to and from practices (those they’re was required to attend) since the hometowns of many are located too far away to make driving impractical.  Obviously, they’re was flown to events (from their hometowns) if they aren’t with the team when it departs to compete in tournaments all across the nation.  The swag that goes along with participation is all top notch - however many pairs of shoes are needed, gear in the form of uniforms, t-shirts, sweat suits, shooting shirts, any accoutrements (sleeves, braces, compression shorts, etc.) and, on several occasions, even meals.  Naturally, hotel accommodations were booked at no charge.

To my knowledge, there is no NCAA regulation against any of this - although the folks in Indy don’t in any way endorse this practice and would like it all to miraculously disappear.  Their biggest fears are the precedents that are being set and the expectations kids at a very impressionable age think they’re entitled to.

I happened to learn of one such player whose father was quite pleased with the attention his son was getting, but became somewhat disillusioned when the insanity known as the “evaluation period” for NCAA coaches began.  He was quoted as saying that his son enjoyed the experience (hey, red carpet treatment is something all of us would love to try - even once) but, according to this dad, the organizers “were guys who always wanted more.  Each tournament we go to, two new guys show up.”  When people are given lavish gifts, there has to be some ulterior motive behind it.  If you’re lucky, it has to do with winning.  It could deal with control.

What complicates matters - and is behind the, as Pat Riley used to call it - “The Disease of More,” is, down deep, these kids don’t care about winning (except in the instances where a loss eliminates the team from further competition).  What they want - and understandably so - is an opportunity to showcase their individual talents.  They know that college coaches aren’t recruiting their team, but whichever individuals impress them enough to offer a scholarship (let’s leave “beyond a scholarship” for another blog).  In case you’ve never seen this brand of basketball, it’s rife with selfishness - and, due to the nature of it, it’s tough to blame the kids. 

As far as selecting which group to play for, high school kids need to understand the following line (which I read somewhere, many years ago):

“Remember, when you sell your soul to the devil, the devil owns it.”      �

In the week prior to the AAU extravaganza in Las Vegas, Alex’s team played in a smaller event in Southern California.  During one of the camp games, his teammate and one of his closest friends had a career game - if that can be said of a 17-year-old.

During this session, our guys were on different teams, so Alex got a chance to watch his buddy put on an offensive show.  Although a good shooter, in this particular game, the youngster went off!  He had 26 at halftime and wound up with 39 for the game - including eleven 3’s!  Possibly the best part of the story was that his performance happened to come at a game that the University of Washington’s head coach, Lorenzo Romar, was in attendance.  If he wasn’t known before the game, Alex’s running mate sure opened some eyes that night.

I had left the event at the conclusion of the tournament (this was a camp at the same site) but our older son, Andy, had driven up from Orange County (he’ll be a senior at UC-Irvine next year) where he has a summer job.  This meant I got dual accounts of this phenomenal performance.

What I found most remarkable was that, when the team got to Vegas, this kid (as nice a young man as you’ll ever meet, with two of the greatest parents) had morphed into a completely different player.  His confidence level had skyrocketed.  He started looking for his shot.  Not that he was timid before his breakout game, but he now played the game like he owned it.  

He was always a solid contributor (he and Alex have played on the same AAU team for 4-5 years), but was never considered the “go-to guy.”  He was now!  As the games came and went, he looked to be more assertive.  There’s no question in my mind that the game in which he went for 39 changed his outlook on his capabilities. 

Kids, even at this level, are confident but often, it’s a false bravado.  They’ve been told by their coaches, parents, brothers or others in their camp how good they are and then they go out to try to prove it.  But when a player actually does it - when he has a game that he’ll never forget - it often inserts a shot of true confidence because, as Satchel Paige once said:

“It ain’t braggin’ if you kin do it.”  �

Finally out of that intense Las Vegas heat and back to Fresno - where, just to remind us of the fun we had in Sin City, the thermometer is well over 100.

Younger son, Alex, and the undermanned AAU team of kids from Central Cali (Organized Chaos), represented the Valley well, going undefeated (3-0) in their pool and winning two games in the “Championship” bracket (including a 77-51 trouncing of D-1 Sports of NC, led by Quincy Miller, rated by most as the #2 rising senior prospect in the nation) before dropping a two-point decision to Urban DFW in a contest in which OC led most of the way.

Other than getting a chance for my wife and I to watch our son and agonize over every missed shot and turnover, cheer every basket and assist and “help” the officials (some parents more than others - they know who they are), the trip gave me a chance to catch up with some old coaching friends I haven’t seen in a decade or longer.  NCAA rules preclude coaches from talking to parents of prospects at such an event but, because I have what’s referred to as a “pre-existing relationship” with so many of these guys, I enjoyed speaking, without fear of them getting in trouble, with many of the coaches whose profession I used to call my own.  Heck, I’ve known these guys a whole lot longer than I’ve known my son!

To paint a picture of what last Wed-Mon was like, there were three or four tournaments in Las Vegas involving high school prospects.  The one our kids played in (the adidas Super 64) had 40 pools of 4 teams in each pool.  160 teams!  Following pool play, teams were placed in “championship,” “gold,” “silver” or “bronze” divisions, depending on their record against the other three teams in their respective pool.  Then, single elimination tournaments began.  The other events were similar, although their numbers weren’t quite so high, more like 30-60 teams. 

One day, I received a call from a friend and former colleague who I had actually helped get into the business.  He’s currently an assistant coach at a school in a league that would be referred to as mid-major.  He called while travelling from one of the 20 or so sites.  The pace is hectic, as coaching staffs try to see (and be seen by) as many of their “top-line” prospects as they can, evaluate those players they’ve heard about or received interest from (but have yet to see play) and, especially in the case of low-to-mid-majors, maybe find an as yet unknown player whom they’d have a shot at successfully recruiting.

This coach remarked to me that he was fully aware his job was to get players, players who, in coaching parlance, “could play,” i.e. make their team better, win more games and get his team into the NCAA tournament - or get fired.  For the most part, that’s the prevailing attitude that exists in Division I now.  Why?

I posted a blog on 11/28/07 entitled The Biggest Problem in College Basketball Today.  My number one answer?  Colleges are paying coaches too much money.  Whether you agree or not, the blog is well worth reading and I suggest you check it out, keeping in mind I wrote it nearly three years ago.  The game - and profession - have progressed but, often, with progress comes problems.  Or in the case of today’s college basketball scene, increased pressure.  While what Gonzaga has done, i.e. seeing them in a Top 10 poll is no longer shocking, is remarkable, the presidents and athletics directors of the other seven teams in the WCC (Gonzaga’s conference) adopt a feeling of “If they can do it, why can’t we?” 

The WCC is a league of eight church-schools, six in California and the University of Portland, in addition to the Zags, so resources would seem to have been relatively equal throughout the league when Gonzaga began its ascent.  Don’t think the prez’s and AD’s don’t have egos.  When their counterparts from Gonzaga walk into WCC meetings, the “have-nots” begin to wonder, “Why not us?”  Changing the coach often becomes the answer.  So, while my friend’s statement about “get players or else” might have seemed a little dramatic, it’s become reality.

Yet, coaches love their profession.  Some for different reasons than others, but working long hours - and many days on the road - is just part of the job.  Consumed is the word that’s used when the coaching profession is discussed.  As a sort of personal experiment, I asked my friend if he knew who Shirley Sherrod was.  Although hers was the lead story in nearly every paper in the nation, he told me he didn’t.  In fact, when he called, he was in the car with an assistant coach from a high-major program (BCS) and he asked him if he knew about Shirley Sherrod.  Same response. 

I am not including this story to disparage nor criticize my friend and his associate.  It’s mentioned because, when I was an assistant (between 1972-2002), I wouldn’t have known about a front-page story like Shirley Sherrod either.  I don’t mean to infer that every coach on the Division I level is ignorant of the Shirley Sherrod story.  It’s just that, because of the consuming aspect of the job, there’s a feeling that nothing else matters other than what you ought to be doing to make your team better and advance your career (or keep from derailing it).  In addition, you get the (absurd) feeling that while you’re reading about that A-1 story, you could be calling a prospect or seeing another game.

My late, brilliant mentor, John Savage, used to say there were some people at opposite ends of the spectrum.  Most coaches were the latter in his statement:

“Some people are a mile wide and an inch deep, while others are an inch wide and a mile deep.”�

For whatever reason, William Wesley, aka World Wide Wes, has been in the news recently.  A sneaker salesman, who allegedly sold more kicks in a bad neighborhood of Philly than other store owners in affluent areas, World Wide Wes caught the attention of some power brokers and, voila, a real life version of Where’s Waldo? came to life.

Many call this cat the most influential man in all of sports and for someone who has no “stats,” he burst on the scene like nobody’s business.  But “the most influential man in sports?”  Here’s a past blog that shows how Michael Jordan defines influence - even when you don’t have it.  This is reprinted from 8/14/07. 

As I mentioned, I spent from Aug. 1-10 at the Michael Jordan Flight School in Santa Barbara where I serve as one of the eight league commissioners (there are eight leagues of eight teams in each league).  This was the fifth year I’ve worked the camp.

Considering most of the campers (ages 8-18) don’t remember seeing Michael as a player, observing the adults is much more interesting than following the kids.  The most amazing story occurred two years ago at the tenth anniversary of the camp.

There was to be a mystery guest speaker on the third night and the speculation ran wild as to his identity.  The camp director is George Raveling.  If you’ve read my blogs, you’ll know I worked with George as a graduate assistant at Washington State in the early ’70s, as an associate head coach at USC in the early ’90s and as assistant chairman on the Recruiting Committee of which he was chairman for about 17 years in between.  During the second day of MJ’s camp, George confided in me the speaker in question was Larry Brown, recently signed as coach of the Knicks, who had a fabulous coaching career which included an NCAA Championship at Kansas and a World Championship with the Pistons.

Later that evening, I was approached on five separate occasions by parents asking me who the speaker was going to be.  Each conversation went something like this:

Parent: “Who’s the mystery guest?”

JF: “I can’t tell you.”

Parent: “But you know who it is?”

JF: “Yes.”

Parent: “Oh, come on, you can tell me (us).”

JF (looking around surreptitiously): “OK, it’s…George W. Bush.”

On no occasion, not once! did anyone question my answer.  I got replies from, “Oh, great, he’s my favorite” to “Good, that will be a great experience for my son” to “I wonder if he’ll wear shorts.”  No one ever said, “Come on, you’ve got to be kidding.”

I did eventually tell them it really wasn’t the President.  They were all disappointed, but no one ever said, “I knew you were putting me on.”

This experience reminded me of Colin Powell’s line:

“You don’t know what you can get away with until you try.”

And it explains why kids today are so gullible - it’s an inherited trait.

For quite a while (as late as three weeks ago at a dinner with Jerry Tarkanian, Chris Pacheco, owner of the local ESPN radio stations, and the sponsors of Tark’s show), I’ve been involved in discussions regarding which NBA player is currently the best in the game.

The side I’ve taken is . . . Kobe.  My reasons?  Naturally, the championships are a factor.  But, beyond that, even those who feel LeBron (who else did you think was the foil in this discussion?) is better, admit that, for the last shot to win a game, they’d go with Kobe.  The deciding point to the argument was derived from listening to an expert on the subject.  For the past seven years, I’ve worked as a commissioner at the Michael Jordan Flight School, a summer basketball camp in Santa Barbara.

Unlike most superstars who have camps, MJ is there every day, either lecturing, demonstrating, taking pictures, giving autographs or, on one of the nights, hosting a Q&A with the campers.  Inevitably, in each session (there are two/summer), one of the youngsters will ask Michael, “Who’s the best player in the NBA?” 

Although he’s the best of all-time (obviously, since this is my blog, that’s my opinion), my feeling isn’t influenced simply by his answer (Kobe), but by his reasoning.  MJ’s explanation of picking Kobe is based on the fact that just like Mike, Kobe always guards the opponent’s best player.

Here’s where I have wavered on how I currently feel.  Kobe is still, I believe, the best defender in the game.  His quickness, long arms, anticipation, knowledge and tenacity shut down whomever he’s guarding.  After watching LeBron this year, I don’t think he’s in Kobe’s class as an on-the-ball defender (although, when it’s necessary to put the clamps on a guy, he’s more than capable), but watching him chase down breakaway’s time after time - guys so far in front of the pack that no one would criticize him if he let them score - has made me come to the realization that he’s the only guy in the NBA who can perform such an accomplishment - and do it over and over! 

Also, weeks ago, LeBron scored his 15,000th point - and in doing so, became the youngest ever to get to the 15K milestone.  The man he beat?  Kobe . . . by over two years!  The guy is 6′8″ and 270 pounds (give or take some lbs), yet is the fastest from end to end (OK, maybe Ty Lawson has been timed faster, but no one gets there with fewer steps), handles and distributes like a guy a foot shorter, finishes as well (better) than anyone else in the league and, as scary as it sounds, has improved his range to the point where it’s the norm to see him knock down three’s.

So, am I now casting my vote for LBJ over Kobe?  I’m not that fickle, but when it comes to the question of who’s the best in the game today, call me Switzerland.

I will not be guilty, however, of what John Kenneth Galbraith said regarding changing one’s mind:

“Faced with the choice between changing one’s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof.”

The story that hit the wire service yesterday was of the massage therapist at UNC saying to Roy Williams, no doubt to make him put his team’s current woes in perspective (Carolina had dropped seven of their last nine games, now eight of ten after last night’s home defeat versus Duke), “Coach, what’s going on in Haiti is a catastrophe, what you’re going through is a disappointment.”

Roy’s reply was, “Depends on which chair you’re sitting in.”

Wow!  The uproar from the bleeding hearts and the contrarians (and the Tar Heel haters) and, possibly a large majority of the nation was of astronomical proportions.  But before the entire civilized world burns Roy in effigy (and not for the losing streak), allow me to clarify what I believe he meant.

Here’s my explanation.  Roy Williams is probably a more caring individual than most college coaches.  I’ve known Roy since he was a high school coach in Asheville, NC in 1977.  He makes a ton of money, but isn’t as materialistic as many of his contemporaries.  In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if I were to find out he wrote a large check to the relief fund there.

Here are a couple of Roy’s most glaring traits.  One is he truly outworks the competition.  That’s an overused term in coaching, but in Roy’s case, there’s tangible evidence.  When they were both assistants to Dean Smith at Carolina, Eddie Fogler told me that Roy is incapable of sleeping on an airplane (until I got on these pain drugs, I had the identical problem).  When he would take the West-to-East Coast red eye, he’d be up all night writing notes to recruits, get to the Raleigh-Durham airport at six or so in the morning and go directly to the office.  He would take a shower and start his day, just as every other UNC employee who just had a full night’s sleep.

Another famous “Roy outwork the comp story” was when he was at Kansas and they were recruiting Raef LaFrentz, the best player (by far) in Iowa.  Naturally, there was tremendous pressure on LaFrentz to attend Iowa.  After he committed to KU, LaFrentz and his dad said how impressed they were that Roy attended the BCI tournament in Tempe, AZ in person to watch him play, while the Iowa head coach sent his assistant coaches to the event.  The excuse was that Iowa was in the middle of their basketball camp and the coach felt obligated to the campers to be there.  What was so impressive about Roy being there was that KU was in the middle of their camp as well.  Roy used a private plane to fly to Tempe after his camp session, watched Raef play (of course, making sure the LaFrentz’s knew he was there) and then flew back to Lawrence after the evening BCI games.

Another of Roy’s characteristics is that he might be the most competitive coach in the business.  Forget that “Aw shucks, Deputy Dawg, Ol’ Roy” facade.  Underneath it all beats the heart of a guy who is a fanatical, relentless game planner who would just as soon stop breathing as he would stop winning.

My take on Roy’s Haiti comment is that, while he sympathizes as much as the next person over the plight of those unfortunate people, what is it people want him to do?  If someone told him his presence in Haiti would cure the problem, my bet is he’d be on the next plane.  His comment was not meant to compare the problem in Haiti to the problems the Tar Heels are experiencing.  It was just to point out that, from the seat he’s in, as far as what he can control, for what he’s paid to do (and, since he has the highest winning percentage of any coach in the country, he apparently does it well), he - and his squad - are facing a catastrophe.  Of course not of the same proportions, but a catastrophe nonetheless.

Do his critics think he should call a team meeting and say to his guys, “Fellas, sure we’ve lost eight out of our last ten games - something that’s unacceptable in this program with all the tradition the players before you worked so hard to build - but it’s not a catastrophe?  What’s going on in Haiti is a catastrophe.”  Undoubtedly, there are readers right now who are shaking their in agreement with that past statement, but my question to you is, “How does that help North Carolina’s basketball team - or what’s going on in Haiti?” 

I wonder if the head shakers had a job in which they were graded (win or loss) at the end of certain days, and they lost eight out of ten of those (and their job security depended on having more W’s than L’s - a lot more), whether they’d feel better about their performance if they thought about the tragedy in Haiti.  

When I posed this question to Tark last night on The Jerry Tarkanian Show, he responded with a line that cut right to the heart of the matter.  His feeling was that Roy shouldn’t have said what he said - to the massage therapist.  Jerry’s thought was:

“That’s something you should only say to another coach because they would understand what you meant.”

 �

First of all, thanks for the overwhelming number of responses I got to that frightening last blog.  While I’m not completely out of the woods, I’m 95% better than I was when that bit of horror was posted.

Maybe, although I certainly hope not, it takes a harrowing experience like what I went - and am continuing to go - through to really make us understand how great we have it.  I did get home in time to see our older son, Andy, who could only afford a quick trip, arriving late, late Wednesday night and leaving Friday at about noon, due to an on-campus (he’s a junior at the University of California-Irvine) job he has. 

The academics at college at terrific (especially at a UC school), but what I think the best thing about going to college is the overall education a young man or lady gets.  This includes the academic, athletic, social and financial parts (sounds like the beginning of my recruiting pitch when I was coaching). 

When I am asked the difference between working with high school kids and college kids, my initial answer is always the same.  In high school you have to deal with immaturity, while in college, the main problem is irresponsibility.  The academics in college are demanding and until a kid realizes it’s a whole different ballgame from high school, he or she will suffer - sometimes to the point of dismissal.  While Andy never was near anything like that, his grades, initially, weren’t what they should have been (or what his mom and I expected).  Sound familiar, parents of college kids?  Anyone who knows me, has heard me say at least a zillion times how tragic it is for someone not to live up to their potential.  After a year or so, Andy figured it out and his grades reflect that. 

The social part was never a problem for ol’ Andy-Boy.  He immediately pledged and was in the first SAE class of his freshman year.  He absolutely LOVES frat life (this year, he’s living in the house) and I suspect his minor slippage in grades might have something to do with excessive frat time.

Athletically, his “formal” career ended when he played in Clovis West HS’s last tournament basketball game, but intramurals, naturally representing SAE, has fulfilled his competitive jones - be it in softball, coaching the basketball team or any other of the innane intramural events at the university.  

The number one most difficult factor for us, as parents, was to get him to understand the financial strain going to an expensive college like UCI can be on a family.  California has a unique system (and a wonderful one for its residents) in that the junior colleges share such a close relationship to the four year schools, e.g. classes for the first two years are similar at each level and, more importantly, they transfer without penalty.  Since JC’s might cost (assuming the student lives at home) as little as $1,000-1,500 a year, while four year schools, such as UC’s can carry a price tag of $25,000 & up per annum, spending a couple years at home is a prudent fiscal move.

My wife and I, however, had a completely different collegiate experience.  While I went to a small school in NJ (Upsala College) on a (partial) football scholarship, my wife went where she’d always dreamed of attending, the University of Tennessee, her state institution.  While there was no comparison between the two (Upsala doesn’t even exist anymore), we both left with the identical belief about our time in college.  It was the best four years of our life!

For that reason, we were committed to have our boys attend the four-year school of their choice.  Andy’s high school basketball team played in a summer tournament at UCI every year and, while it’s a highly rated academic institution, being as close as it is to Newport Beach and the Pacific Ocean are pretty enticing selling points too.

Back to the finances.  Andy got a job at a popular on-campus pizza joint.  He’s learned responsibility accompanies the pay, which comes in quite handy.  It keeps gas in his car, which by the way, he’s also helping pay off, gives him much needed spending money (think about how we never had money in college).  But, realizing that sacrifices have to be made - like not spending the entire weekend with your close high school buddies during Thanksgiving break - because the store’s open and the owner needs someone to be able to count on, whether to wait or bus tables, or make deliveries.  That, in itself, might be as necessary a lesson in team play and responsibility as anything he learns in a classroom.

He’s also taken my advice - that of having the discipline to “pay yourself first.”  Whatever you get - salary or tips, immediately put 10% in your savings account (which prior to the job was always hovering around zero).  Even if you only get $10 in tips for the whole night, put a buck in your savings.  Since he has to pay for his parking (the university ought to be arrested for what they charge - per month!) and his fraternity dues and . . . , it’s been an invaluable suggestion.  And he told me as much during his brief stay.

The birth of a child is a miracle.  And watching one grow into a successful, responsible adult is reason enough to be thankful.  He has told me on several occasions that he remembers the statement I use as my signature line when I speak:

“The greatest tragedy in life in unrealized potential, due to injury, death, not getting an opportunity, or, worst of all, LACK OF EFFORT- because that’s the only one YOU CAN CONTROL.”