Jack’s Blog

America has become, if it wasn’t already, a terribly cynical nation (many of this author’s comments having contributed to that flaw in character).  The line, though,  I’ve heard spoken more and more since the turn of the century is, “In the U.S., we build our heroes up just so we can tear them down.”  Often, it’s a laugh track we’re searching for.  Provoking laughter at someone else’s expense is what many people take extreme pleasure in.  It’s fun - and so easy to do.

Infidelity has produced more than its share of snide remarks - be they on national TV, at the water cooler, over the internet or via the text message.  These range from tastefully funny to obscenely sick and touch nearly all sections in between.  Whether it’s about acts of a lewd nature (from Larry Craig to Bill Clinton), illegal transactions (from Charles Barkley and Eliot Spitzer to Mike Tyson), simple flings (John Edwards and Charles Robb) or “true love affairs” (from Lance Armstrong to Mark Sanford), late night talk show hosts will never suffer from a loss for material.

However, the line is drawn when the result of an extramarital transgression ends in death, as was the case with Steve McNair.  When the news that McNair was shot to death and there was another fatality as well, most Tennessee Titan fans - as well as friends and family of the former star - were in complete and utter disbelief.  One obvious reason is that getting shot to death is such a barabric means of dying.  But just as shocking to those who knew and followed McNair’s career, was the fact that he was the leader, The Man, who had turned around a moribund franchise by playing in a much more physical style than anyone would expect from a quarterback, yet displaying the durability of a lineman.  Even more shocking, from a reputation standpoint, is that he was one of the most generous (especially for a non-native Tennessean) individuals who ever graced the Volunteer State.

As more and more facts are introduced, it turns out Steve McNair was not what we all had hoped and was we all feared.  He was not perfect.  He was human.  Please see my blog from 6/27/09 for a wonderful perspective on, what always was and apparently still is, the potentially deadly act of infidelity.  We were stunned to find out he wasn’t the role model the youngsters looked up to and their parents desperately were seaching for.  He was just another oversexed professional athlete, entitled to all of God’s creations.  Someone who we felt was headed for Mount Olympus for his future residence, but one whose eternal address will probably be somewhere on the other side of sea level.

Yet, before we do a complete 180 degree turn on someone who, up until a few days ago, we thought was the ultimate hero, let’s take the time to realize that, like many of us, Steve McNair was a troubled soul.  I said as much last night to a friend as we were (semi) watching our two sons’ basketball practice, when a young, extremely indignant woman who, “had heard enough” blurted out, “Who are you to judge?!?  Maybe he had an open marriage and his wife knew exactly what he was doing?”

She seemed to be spoiling for a fight (and if I were to give her one, I seriously doubt it would have been her first - or even second - of the day).  “Yeah, you’re probably right,” as I could feel the cynicism building - not proud of it, but knowing I couldn’t hold it back either.  “But, if what you say is true, somehow she must have skipped over the fine print, giving the mistress the authority to make her a widow at her discretion!” 

Right at this point (it must have been to prove the world is a zero-sum balance after all), some guy from behind us, bellows, “The bum got what he deserved.”  I knew it was time to change location because, in regard to that statement, I would have to disagree (at not at all, respectfully).

Nobody derserves what Steve McNair got.  If those shots that were fired at him had only been near misses, and Steve was visibly shaken, scared and exhausted, but still alive, I wonder what his answer to the question, “All that sex you’re having with this ‘other woman,’ is it worth it?”

At that time, it’s extremely likely that his infidelity issues would have ceased and he could bring himself to see the point - real or imagined (damn, there’s that cynicism again) - that Jon Bon Jovi made in his 60 Minutes interview.  When he was asked how, when groupies were crawling over his wife (of over 20 years) to get to him, he refused to partake, his answer was:

“Because I got it right the first time.”  Â

Bill O’Reilly, on his way out of the country, took the time last night to speak out (on his own show) on a subject that is becoming all too familiar in our country: a political leader with the morals of a sewer rat.

O’Reilly, host of the #1 cable news show for the last 8 years (I’m not sure that O’Reilly doesn’t think the 8 ought to be on its side), was incensed that those from the left are, in his words, “celebrating” the downfall of South Carolina governor (for the time being), Mark Sanford.  This, from a person who, if he disagrees with you, calls you a “pinhead” on national television.  O’Reilly mentioned something to the fact that when former governor John Edwards fell off the fidelity wagon, conservatives may have criticized him, but none of them celebrated his indiscretion.  I was curious as to why BOR didn’t bring up that Monica girl and the guy who was president at that time and replay video footage of the comments made by him and his other fair and balanced colleagues.  Possibly he had put it behind him.

In what I initially thought was a moment of comic relief, he brought on one of the nation’s most kind-hearted human beings, a veritable saint, with a warmth toward his fellow man that few, if any other, member of this, or any other society, possesses.  Naturally, I’m speaking of Karl Rove.  In acknowledging Rove, O’Reilly said, “You’ve been (referred to) as a hatchet man by people who don’t like you.”  Now, how could someone not like an honest, above-board gentleman who, in an effort to help his man win an election, broke into the office of the competitor so he (Rove) could steal letterhead and then print up flyers, inviting people, i.e. voters to a (fictitious) party offering free drugs and prostitutes? A note of clarity: the actual word “prostitute” may not have been used - I mean, what kind of guy would do something so despicable - but there was no way anyone could not have understood the gist of the mesage.  Guess what?  His man won!  Good campaigning. 

O’Reilly went on with his introduction of this bastion of integrity (Rove) with what might be in the running for understatement of the year, “Politics is a rough business - you do what you’ve got to do to get your guy in.”  I can’t remember much after hearing that.  I was even less interested in hearing what Karl (with a K, like Marx) had to say. 

Then, Bernard Goldberg came on and admitted that he “used to be on that side.”  By that side, I think he meant both “left” and “wrong.”  He sounded extremely sure of his views, probably like he did when he was on “that side.”  Could Bernie have another change of heart some time in the near future and head back over?  He’ll say no way, just as he would have if he were asked oh so many years ago, but if the right numbers were proposed for a book deal, . . . well, everyone has his price.

One man who was on the receiving end of Goldberg’s wrath was Paul Begala, Democratic strategist (see one of my earliest blogs, 4/22/07 for a sensational perspective - mine - on political strategists) and member of the fivehead club - as in most people have a forehead, but Paul goes us all one better.  There was a film clip of Begala ranting over the apparent brain freeze of Sanford.  Yet, he, too, never mentioned Monica what’s-her-name.  Do all these guys suffer from selective memory?

John Savage, a name mentioned often on this website, was a brilliant man.  I learned more from him during the seven years I was honored to know him, than I did from 99% of others I’ve met (using a conservative estimate) throughout the years.  John used to speak to hundreds of insurance salespeople (his actual vocation) or to similar numbers when he was hired as an inspirational speaker.  His style was basic, down-to-earth (what all of us could only wish was) common sense.  

Occasionally, during a presentation, John would say, “You guys out there who are running around on your wives - you’re all frauds!”  This caught everyone’s attention mainly because it was so unlike John’s personality.  Then, once he had everyone’s attention (statements like that tend to earn the audience’s total focus), he’d wryly say, “And if you disagree with me, I’d be happy to debate it with you on local TV - in your hometown.”

This always brought a laugh, with some (usually those wiping their faces and necks) a tad more nervous than others, but it managed to get his point across.  John, who died in February of 1993, used to say a good motto was, “One wife, no girlfriends.”  Like I said, common sense. 

Lost in all of this sniping is the fact that a governor, for an extended period of time, was derelict in his duty, having left his office (not to mention his mind) and told no one where he was.  Hey, buddy, you’re in charge, and have the final say of, what happens in your state.  There are only 50 of your type in this nation and it’s a job that carries with it an extremely high degree of responsibility.  (And to think there were times people would say women couldn’t govern because of their inability to think straight when they were menstruating).  Come to think of it, wasn’t Sanford gone for about 4-5 days?

The knee jerk reaction of nearly all of these talk show hosts (because their livelihood is driven, not by what’s right or wrong, but by ratings), is to circle the wagons if the mistake is made “by one of ours” or attack, attack, attack if the blunder is made by someone on the other side.  How about discussing the right thing to do and what effect the mistake could have on the country?

Doesn’t this sound familiar?  Today, the “right” is absolutely tearing apart the current administration and how every decision that’s being made and every act that’s taken is heading the country into complete ruin.  But, where things so great before this administration took over - what - six months ago?  The country was going to hell in a hand basket when the “right” party was in power (according to the left).  Now that the worm’s turned, it’s the Republicans’ opportunity to complain.

The lesson to be learned is this: it’s far better to be the party out of power - because then, you can criticize and be as loud as you want.  The other side has to justify what they’re doing.  Many Americans will be on your side - those without jobs, houses and portfolios that are worth half of what they were.

This country has completely lost its sense of what it means to be a member of a team.  The motto has changed from, “There’s no I in team,” to “Yeah, but there’s a me in it.”  If only solving our unity problem was as easy as explaining the Sanford, Edwards, Spitzer, Clinton, (add in your favorite).  Those actions are easily explained by one of the best and brightest -Robin Williams - who observed:

“God gave man two heads, but only enough blood to operate one at a time.”  Â