Reality television is the rage of the national viewing audience - and, until now, I haven’t found one that did much for me. I’m an old-timer in that sitcoms - the good ones (Seinfeld, Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond), not the “let’s find a semi-star, throw in some bathroom humor and call it comedy” and dramas (CSI, Law & Order, House) fit my style. Since we don’t get HBO, I’d have to wait for hotel television to watch Entourage. Believe it or not, and many who know me will not, I never saw a complete episode of The Sopranos - a fact that even astounds me. And, of course, sporting events (lead by reporting of those events, i.e. SportsCenter) were all of interest. College basketball, college football, the NBA Playoffs, the NFL and more and more rarely, MLB (including the World Series) - in that order - took up parts of my days, especially when I had math tests to grade.
That said, I really haven’t watched that much television, as, other than Seinfeld and SportsCenter, none of the others were on my must-see TV diet. As I age, watching CNN and Fox News (might as well listen to both side’s propaganda) allow me to stay somewhat current.
When reality television took over the airways, the tube became less and less a part of my life. Then something startling happened. When I walked into the family room, younger son Alex had a show on that looked intriguing. It was called Shaq vs.
Apparently, Shaquille O’Neal, as he nears the end of a Hall-of-Fame career, travels the country and challenges superstars from other sports to a contest - in the superstar’s sport. To make the “playing field” somewhat level, Shaq is given an advantage. Since this was the first time either Alex or I had seen this show, we weren’t sure if any others had been aired, but there was mention of Shaq vs. players in baseball (I do remember Albert Pujols was the baseball player and the challenge was to be a home run hitting contest), football, boxing and beach volleyball.
Last night’s challenge was swimming vs. (who else) Michael Phelps. There were three parts: a race in which Shaq swam 25 yards (or do they use meters in this country now?) while Michael had to swim 50 yards (with Phelps getting a five-second head start), an IM relay - with Michael swimming all the legs and Shaq only swimming the anchor free style - after three of the top U.S. Olympic women swam their specialties in the butterfly, back and breast strokes and the finale - Shaq going down-and-back (50 yards meters units) while Phelps had to swim 75 (of the same unit).
Shaq took the first one, Phelps the next two. Each was extremely close - just as the network had hoped it would be. The bet: if Shaq prevailed, Michael Phelps had to look in the camera and say Shaq was the greatest (evidently, that’s enough of an award for The Diesel); if Michael won, Shaq had to wear a pink cap and perform synchronized swimming. Shaq’s being so uninhibited is one thing that makes the show work, e.g. he had absolutely no problem donning the pink cap and getting in the pool with the girls (although we never got to see his expertise in that event).  Â
While I always thought that Shaq was a little too much a showman as a basketball player (on the court and off), mugging for the camera every chance he got and being a little too much of a self-promoter, there certainly was no denying his dominance. I recall a conversation I had with Eddie Fogler when he was coaching at South Carolina and he told me how intimidating it was watching him warm up before a game (in front of the visitor’s bench). Years later, I met Shaq when the movie Blue Chips was filmed on the USC campus where I was working.  Having spent 30 years in D-I basketball, I’m not awed by “tall people,” but this cat is another type of animal altogether. And finally, there was a dinner date I had with Doc Rivers (how much name-dropping can a guy do in one paragraph, for crying out loud!) in which we discussed who was the most dominant NBA player. At the time, Doc was the head coach of the Orlando Magic. My vote was for Shaq, claiming that as long as the basket was 10′ in the air, size was a major factor. Doc’s choice, even back then, was a young guy named Kobe something or other. Now I know why they call him “Doc.”
Despite the fact I always felt Shaq could have done more had he been more focused on his job than himself, that’s the exact characteristic that makes this show so successful. It’s the hype, the trash talking (which Phelps never would participate in, irking Shaq - to the point that he commented how it was impossible to get “into his head”), the “props” he gives, and sincere admiration he has for, his competitor added to all the ancillary parts of the hour-long show that make it worthwhile viewing. There was the trip to the Boys & Girls Club, dinner in a restaurant with a little back and forth banter and all the gyrations and off the cuff remarks Shaq makes.Â
He is a born showman and not only does this show give him a stage to show off his athletic skills (which for a guy his size, are off-the-charts fabulous, but it gives him a chance to ad lib (and if it’s not ad libbed, the producers do a good job making it seem that way). An example: when Phelps asks Shaq a technical question about swimming, the big fella retorts, “As Einstein said, ‘If you can access it, there’s no need to memorize it.’ “ An excellent comeback by a guy who’s obviously not only bigger and more highly skilled than his NBA brothers, but a heckuva lot brighter too.
The entire show was quite entertaining and with America’s fixation on its sports’ heroes, it more likely than not will catch on. At least, it will serve as a transition job between the time Shaq decides to retire from pro hoops and join the police force (somewhere). Many people feel Shaq is so big because no one could fit all that bluster into a normal sized body. In terms of seeking adventure, he’s much like his mentor at LSU, another guy who knew the value of bulbluster, Dale Brown. And like Dale, Shaq’s mantra sounds like that of a woman named Rosalyn Yalow (paraphrased in parenthses to make it more applicable to the guys):
“The excitement of learning (experimenting) separates youth from old age. As long as you’re learning (experimenting), you’re not old.” Â