Jack’s Blog

Andre Agassi’s interview on 60 Minutes, his new book and the article with the excerpts of that book in Sports Illustrated shout to the world what Andre Agassi truly is - not a tennis superstar or someone who was pushed by an overbearing father or a drug user (and subsequent abuser), but a person who can’t live without the spotlight on him.  He was, is and (it’s a pretty good bet) will continue to be a narcissist of the first order.

There also is certainly no doubt he is in the discussion for the top tennis player of all-time. In addition, he was a marvelous “pitchman,” a serious heart throb and now, an honest-to-goodness philanthropist.  Yet, everything he’s done (or is doing), came (or comes) with a major price tag.

He “tells all” about his father who, in the book excerpt in SI, he simultaneously hates and loves.  Because my best friend in the ’80s was a “tennis man” (who is currently in the National Tennis Hall-of-Fame), I became a big fan of tennis, both playing the sport and watching it.  Due to the relationship I had with my friend, I had a ringside seat into the true inner game of tennis (a book by the same name I read more than once).  Except what my friend taught me was far different than what author Timothy Gallwey wrote.  The latter was about how to improve play while the former explained the real goings-on at the upper levels of the tennis world.

I have to admit I was shocked and even reread the line about Andre “loving his father and wanting to please him.”  That’s because it came so matter-of-factly after him describing his dad as a vulgar lunatic (tales of road rage are frightening), a “coach” relentlessly screaming at him (from the age of seven), “torturing” him (to what most would define as child abuse) and basically, taking away his childhood by forcing him to, hour after hour, continue to do something he hated (which is the central theme of the book).

Trying to recall his career, I remember him starting out as a child progidy.  He won a Grand Slam at 22, then some more, but when winning didn’t seem to be enough, grew out his hair (which he admits in the book and in the interview with Katie Couric was a hairpiece since his real stuff starting falling out prematurely - and how could someone that age create the image he wanted without flowing locks, at the time, the “in” look), wore wild outfits (the kind that would draw attention to oneself), did “image” commercials (so we could see him on television elsewhere besides the tennis court), shaved his hairy body and married a Hollywood star (Brooke Shields), which he now says he knew at the time was a mistake (although it did generate a heckavu lot of publicity).  I imagine we’ll be hearing from Brooke’s side that the marriage wasn’t exactly a slice of heaven from her viewpoint either.

Finally, he discovered his true love (another tennis star whose father was overbearing) and shaved his head.  Naturally, he won more Grand Slam events, even when his body was so wracked with pain, he was taking cortisone shots just to function.  A lot of people are in pain, but that doesn’t bring the attention that winning a Grand Slam event does.

Oh yeah, there was about a year of his life that he took crystal meth, failed a drug test, wrote a letter that was so contrite (and full of lies) that the positive test was overlooked by the ATP and resurrected his broken career (he had slipped to 141st in the world - pretty good for most of us, i.e. I can only wish this blog were ranked the 141st best one in the world) to surge all the way back to Number One (and gain what he’s really addicted to - adulation).

Finally, he retired, now has two children with the love of his life (Stefi Graf) and has opened a charter school for the underprivileged kids of Las Vegas.  It’s a glowing success, having recently graduated its first class.  But being the founder of a charter school doesn’t afford the limelight that being a superstar athlete does.  We could ask David Robinson, who’s done the same thing, but seems to be content with that mission - even though I’m fairly certain The Admiral could divulge some relatively eye-opening stories (aka: big-time dirt) about going through four years at the Naval Academy and joining the Navy as a commissioned officer.  Apparently, though, David’s more at peace with himself.

It’s impossible not to acknowledge that Andre Agassi was a sensational tennis player and it’s just as hard not to root for a guy who’s helping impoverished children make something positive happen with their lives (each one of his graduates, it was reported on 60 Minutes, was headed for college).  However, I am in full agreement with Sam Vaknin who said:   

“Narcissists are incorrigibly and notoriously difficult to change.  Thus, trying to change them is doomed to failure.  You should either accept them as they are or avoid them altogether.  If one accepts the narcissist as he is – one should cater to his needs.  His needs are part of what he is.  Would you have ignored a physical handicap?  The narcissist is an emotional invalid. He needs constant adulation.  He cannot help it.  So, if one chooses to accept him – it is a package deal, all his needs included.”   

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