Jack’s Blog

The following is an article I wrote for the September-October edition of HiS magazine (edited somewhat for this blog), published by the local ESPN station in Fresno, CA.

Supposedly, this year’s hottest Halloween costume is Kate Gosselin from the show John & Kate Plus 8.  Forgive me for not knowing who - or what - that is, but my doctor told me to try to live as normal a life as possible and that selection didn’t make the cut of “acceptable shows on TV.”  Other than SportsCenter, the Super Bowl, anything to do with March Madness and re-runs of Seinfeld, I can’t recall too many other shows that did.

This year’s most popular Halloween costumes are:

Sarah Palin - not sure what it would be.  Get a Tina Fey costume. No one will know the difference.  

Mark Sanford - it comes with a wife, kids and concubine soulmate, as well as an incredible work ethic.  Everyone goes trick or treating.  Tell people how you plan on 1) reconciling with your family, 2) keeping your soulmate (psychiatrists, psychologists and, if all works as planned, millions of your fellow men, will vouch a soulmate completes you as a person) and 3) still governing South Carolina.  Not certain if it will work, but think of the major candy stash.

Bernard Madoff - this costume has three hands, along with an ingenuous smile.  Organize a long list of people whose homes you plan to go (make sure some of your dearest friends are on the list).  When someone answers the door, reach out and shake the person’s hand, then cover with a second hand, signifying a “This will be the beginning of a long and lasting relationship” feeling of trust.  Naturally, with the third hand reach around and take all the candy and anything else of value you can.  As you leave, put two of your arms around the shoulders of those you’re trick or treating with - and, with your third hand, steal all of their candy too.  Note: This costume comes with only two hands; you need to trade in your conscience for the third one.     

Dick Vitale - consists of a flesh skull cap and a ring of hair around the bottom.  The remainder of the costume is a giant mouth.  As soon as you ring the doorbell, start screaming - in as loud and grating a voice as you can - “TRICK OR TREAT, BABY!  HALLOWEEN IS AWESOME, BABY, WITH A CAPITAL “A”!  I WANT CANDY AND CHOCOLATE AND LOLLIPOPS AND GUM!  HALLOWEEN STUFF, BABY!  I WANT EVERYTHING, BABY, WITH A CAPITAL “A“!  You are guaranteed to get whatever you want - as long as you leave.

Tiger Woods - there is no such costume . . . because nobody can give him anything Tiger would want that he doesn’t already have.  Note: Jack Nicklaus doesn’t allow trick or treaters.

Pat Hill (Fresno State football coach) - a fumanchu mustache (the newer the model, the grayer the ’stache), an old stained red hat, any shirt (as long as there’s a target on it - BOTH sides) and a pair of real baggy shorts – anything tighter would raise your voice several octaves with the cojones you have - playing early, and, of course, on the road - in a few extremely raucous stadiums (I’d put “stadia” but no one reading this blog would have any idea of what that meant) - and doing all of this with no experienced QB.  Just in case, make sure you have a wide stance, a corset for your back and a set of broad shoulders - because, if you win, you’ll need to be prepared for all the people jumping on your back (and claiming they were there all along).

THE INDIVIDUAL - no costume needed, just demand candy and if anyone asks who you are, say, “The new symbol for

On June 19, 2008, I wrote a blog entitled “A Thumbnail Sketch of Why Baseball Is No Longer America’s Pastime.“  (As the saying goes, “You could look it up” - because it’s archived).  It dealt with today’s generation not having the ability to enjoy a game that is not meant to be played in a hurry.  It also discussed some absurd loyalty rituals the game not only doesn’t apologize for, but embraces.

I concluded the post with my admitting that, if I were given a choice of which professional sport I’d like to witness live, it would be baseball.  That thought still holds true, but mainly because I don’t particularly care to watch anything live anymore.  If my son weren’t playing high school basketball, I’m not sure I’d want to watch any sport at any level live and in-person, however, much of that is due to medical issues.

But, as far as baseball’s popularity, its strength is its weakness.  And that strength is tradition.  The most glaring example is that of its refusal to use instant replay.  It’s not that I’m a big fan of replays but, even a techno-dud such as I am, realize that technology is growing so rapidly that to reject its advances is to subject yourself (yourself, in this case, being the game of baseball) to increased humiliation.

How many times, in the postseason, with the national - make that international, televised crowds intently watching, have the umpires been shown to have blown a call.  “Yeah, but if some calls are overturned, how will anybody know how to rectify it?” the old-timers will cry.  This is the same problem (with probably the same guys complaining) that football and basketball complained about, yet they at least did something!  What we have now is new technological advances embarrassing major league officiating crews. 

Give MLB some credit though - they did yield somewhat.  They trashed their “one new guy in the World Series” idea and went with strictly veteran crews.  It was mentioned on the broadcast that each of the crew members had worked more than one World Series, illustrated by each crew member having at least more than one chin.   

Since the playoffs began, the viewing audience (and with replay capabilities on stadium videoboards, that includes those fans in attendance), have witnessed an umpire missing a blatantly obvious fair/foul call on a ball hit to left field.  Just last night, fans saw Ryan Howard faking a trapped ball, only to turn a major rally by the Yankees into an inning-ending double play and another such twin killing to end an inning called on Chase Utley when he was clearly safe (although, granted, not by much).  Had the proper call been made, Howard would have come to bat with runners on first and third, with himself representing the tying run.  The bat was taken out of his hands all because MLB simply will not employ a video replay. 

It might be difficult to figure out how to use instant replay in baseball, but it’s not nearly as taxing as advances made in other (believe it or not, more important) fields of life.  The worst part for MLB about all this is technology is only going to get better - and I doubt humans can keep up - which leaves the sport open to ridicule - and turning their officials to scapegoats.

Yesterday’s quote (also about baseball) was by Voltaire.  In an effort to move from the ridiculous to the sublime, today’s quote about baseball comes from Michel de Montaigne, who, although he didn’t have baseball in mind, still manage to sum up MLB’s refusal to adopt instant replay quite succintly:

“Stubborn and ardent clinging to one’s opinion is the best proof of stupidity.”

Way back when I was a major baseball fan, I remember being so bummed out when my beloved Dodgers had a perfect game thrown against them.  I was absolutely beside myself (as any 8-year-old would be), making excuses, placing blame and taking my frustrations on on any and all within ear shot.

Considering my next door neighbor and best friend (as well as his two older brothers and dad) was a die hard Yankees fan - and had had to listen to me all year - about the Dodgers’ World Series conquest of (even back then - and maybe moreso back then) the Evil Empire in ‘55 (the first one is always the sweestest), it was crow eating time for yours truly. 

It didn’t really help when my father said to me, “Look, I know you’re disappointed” (not to mention eight years old), “but you should really appreciate what Don Larsen just did.  Games like these don’t happen very often” (yeah, like never before or since) and someday, you’ll be able to tell people you got to see someone pitch a perfect game in the World Series” (even if it was on a black-and-white TV).  Although my father’s words were said in a sincere father-to-son way, the main reason they fell on deaf ears probably had something to do with the fact that my dad was a fan of the guys in the pinstripes too.  I got my love for the Dodgers because my mother’s side of the family was from Brooklyn.

Here it is more than 50 years later (excuse me for a moment while I let that stat soak in) and we got to witness history as Cliff Lee threw, although not perfect, a similar masterpiece last night against the Yanks.  Granted, it wasn’t like Larsen’s perfecto, i.e. no one had ever done it, but the last time a pitcher in a World Series game struck out a minimum of ten batters without walking anyone (a la Lee last night) was, get this for a major time lapse - the first World Series game ever played - in 1903!

Phillies’ manager Charlie Manuel gave an in depth analysis why Lee was so dominant: “Cliff has four pitches and all four were working tonight.”  That’s about as in depth as Charlie gets.

That noted baseball afficianado Voltaire gave the perfect quote on last night’s performance- especially for Philly fans:

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”�

A friend and I were discussing the problems with the NBA.  Note: I’ve yet to hear from David Stern, so I imagine what we came up with wasn’t that revolutionary.

When the subject came up that a good number of NBA players seem to give less than maximum effort, my friend said he was astonished that guys whose lifelong dream is doing exactly what they’re doing (and that, if they weren’t doing it, who knows what they would be doing), wouldn’t work harder at their craft.

That reminded me of a passage from the book George Karl wrote - when he was coahing the Seattle Supersonics!  

“A survey was taken, asking people what they would do if they hit the lottery and 75%” (that number might be off, but I recall it was extremely high) “said they would quit their jobs.  With what the NBA salaries are now” (and think about how long ago he made that statement), “it’s like these guys hit the lottery.” 

Then came the line summarizing the question of effort:

“I wonder how many of them have quit their jobs.” 

    �

My reasoning for the 2009-10 NBA season to have a repeat champion is not only because last year’s winners, the Los Angeles Lakers, got appreciably better by replacing Trevor Ariza, a vital piece of their championship club, with Ron Artest.  To sum up that move, the Lakers replaced a poor man’s Ron Artest with the real thing.  Ariza’s skill set is virtually identical to Artest’s, but the latter has been performing that role better and for longer than the former.

A shrewd move by the Lakers’ once (and often) villified GM Mitch Kupchak, who, upon realizing injuries to the Rockets’ Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady were going to preclude Artest from signing there, leapt at the opportunity of substituting the promising and talented Ariza for the proven and talented (and volatile) Artest.  That last adjective, for all the Laker-haters (of which there many), will be the difference between last year’s Kobe-led Lakers (all bowed to the captain) and this year’s version.  Because Ron Artest bows to no one! 

Don’t believe the chemistry issues people are talking about (hoping for in the case of the Laker bashers).  Ron Artest might be a charter member of the P-I-T-A club, but he’s no fool.  He, as well as anyone, knows how difficult it is to play against Kobe and will relish the opportunity to play alongside him.  No one, no matter how inflated an ego (I’ll go out on a limb and even say AI, the one from Memphis, not the one from Philly - how soon they forget, Allen) wouldn’t admit that Kobe is better than he is.  Plus, the “in” thing for players from this century is “the ring” - and between them, Bryant and Artest have four, all belonging to Kobe.  If ever Ron will be on his best behavior, this coming season will be it.

However, that’s not the only reason I am predicting a repeat champion.  You see, in my mind, the Celtics were the champions and as soon as KG went down, they never had a chance to repeat.  While LA was certainly a deserving champion, I don’t feel as if they dethroned the Celtics. It was more like Boston took a sabbatical.

Now, with a healthy Garnett (and all that comes with him, e.g. the competitive fire that he morphs into superleader), the Men in Green are back to truly defend their crown.  Maybe not legally - as far as the NBA historians are concerned - but in their minds.  Sure they’re a year older (Pierce & Ray Allen - along with KG), but that is a positive when it comes to Rondo, Big Baby and Kendrick Perkins.

Plus, the Celtics made a huge deal - also for a potential hothead - in Rasheed Wallace.  Yet, if you ask anyone in the league, the answers border on unanimous that ‘Sheed is a major positive factor in the locker room.  He’ll have to tone down his confrontational attitude toward the refs (good luck with that) and the opposing fans (but his teammates will have his back when and if that ever comes into play).  In the meantime, Boston now has not one, but TWO big men who can score both in and out.  Meetings about the defensive game plan against the Celtics just got quite a bit longer.

The other contenders?  Orlando?  Sorry, Vince Carter gives them much more explosiveness but any reasonable person who watched them play in last year’s playoffs has got to come to the conclusion that losing Hedo Turkoglu hurts them more than two  VC’s would help.  A 6′10″ guy who can run the point of a “pick & roll/pop” is infinitely more difficult to replace than a slasher.

The Cavs?  Shaq will have to do more for them than he did for the Suns.  If he does (not including pregame choreography, which everyone in the NBA is conceding to the Cavs), they have a chance.  But pulling Shaq out to guard in P&R situations is a detriment to their defense.  And, really, how much better can LeBron play?  Admittedly, that’s a frightening thought. 

The Spurs?  Adding Richard Jefferson was a nice move, but they weren’t as close as everyone would like us to believe last year.  Age (and the nagging, if not serious, injuries that go hand-in-hand) can work to their disadvantage as well.   

So, . . . whether either the Lakers or the Celtics win it all, it will say “Repeat” to me.  How do I know this?  I learned it from none other than Dr. Benjamin Spock who said:

“Trust yourself.  You know more than you think you do.”

Going into this football season, it was fairly certain that the Heisman Trophy race was going to among former winners Tim Tebow, Sam Bradford and finalist Colt McCoy.  Then Tebow and Bradford got hurt (the latter, not only dropping out of the race, but probably the season as well) and McCoy didn’t dazzle as everyone expected.  Panic set in.  What are we going to do?  Almost like the engraver knew how to spell only those three names.

Then, luckily, Alabama got rolling and their running back, Mark Ingram, started to put up big numbers.  Whew!  That solved that problem.  Finally, there was a player from a big name school people could relate to and look forward to him and his designer suit at the Downtown Athletic Club, accepting the nation’s most recognizable individual award for a collegian.

But, . . . what if, with all the chaos among the BCS teams, there emerged a player from a major school (although not one of the BCS variety) whose numbers were staggering - compared to, not only Ingram, but every other “star” in the BCS galaxy? 

The immediate response would be, “Yeah, but anybody playing against inferior competition can have stats that will ‘wow’ people.”  Well, what if this running back put up the following statistics - based on three games, two of them against Top 10 teams while the third was against Wisconsin (not exactly a slouch)?  How do these sound?  76 carries for 486 yards (a 6.4 yards/per carry average) and 4 TD’s.  Oh yeah, and no (0) fumbles - not zero fumbles lost, zero of any kind - no matter how hard (or how many times) defenses from UW, Cincinnati or Boise State hit him.

Ryan Mathews from Fresno State possesses these gaudy stats - along with one more than is sure to open any voter’s eyes (and when it comes to considering a player from a non-big name school, those eyes are shut real tight).  He has 439 yards on seven touchdowns, each of which covered over 50 yards.  This ain’t no guy they hand the ball to when they get inside the five to pad his TD stats.  In all, he’s rushed 156 times for 1131 yards (7.25 yds/carry).  And still no fumbles - of any kind.  Kinda nice when you know your feature back will get you a first down if you give him the ball in a series - and you don’t have to worry about the possibility of turning it over.

Here’s hoping that the Heisman voters will at least recognize one of the nation’s premier running back and ket them rest assured the thought wouldn’t take any of the luster off the trophy.  Some may say the remainder of the schedule is against only WAC teams, plus a final game against current Big 10 celler dweller Illinois, but keep something else in mind.  While he may not be facing as high a caliber defense that someone like a Mark Ingram is, on the flip side, he doesn’t have the behemoths blocking for him that Ingram does either.

Samuel L. Jackson once said:

“Everybody likes stories about underdogs that overcame.” 

If that were only the case with the people who vote for the Heisman Trophy.

Although I’m originally from New Jersey, I lived in the South for 10 years (1977-87), the last seven of which were in Knoxville as an assistant basketball coach at UT.  Among the many items indigenous to that culture that I picked up was Tennessee football is not a religion.  It’s much more important than that.  You see, you might miss church if there’s a driving sleet and hail storm on Sunday, but if identical conditions exist for a home football game in Knoxville, you’ll be there.  One year, this actually happened and over 89,000 fans showed up - to see two teams with losing records (I think the other one was Kentucky).  At that time, Neyland Stadium’s capacity was only 98,000.  I believe the no-shows were part of the mandatory ticket allotment the SEC dictates the visiting team receives.

Another little tidbit I learned is that football is bigger at Alabama than Tennessee, due, in all likelihood, to the fact that there aren’t as many cultural distractions in Tuscaloosa than there are in K-Town.  An example is that at the very top of the must-see(do) experiences in Tuscaloosa is to “dine” at Dreamland - home of the tastiest (and greasiest) ribs you’ll ever eat (and wear).

Next to visiting (worshipping) Graceland, going to a Tennessee-Alabama football game is simply an event you attend before you die.  There was a major uproar when the SEC expanded to 12 teams and two divisions (Alabama in one, Tennessee in the other) because it meant that the sacred third Saturday in October no longer was the date for one of the nation’s biggest rivalries.  When it was announced (many years ago) that in 2009, the game was being held on October 24 (the fourth Saturday in October), people had to erase what they’d written in their calendars, i.e. their ten-year planners.

One year duirng my tenure at UT, the Vols’ footballers snapped a long losing streak to the Tide and, as might be expected, the goalposts came down.  The fans were so excited they decided to march with the goalposts - out of the stadium and all the way down “The Strip,” a street lined with restaurants that marked the edge of campus.  I never did find out how they got the goalposts out of the stadium, but where there’s a win over ‘Bama, there’s a way.

That is the importance of the Big Orange vs the Crimson Tide in football.  Imagine how much bigger it was yesterday, with UT and a young, brash coach (who has riled up every SEC fan - one way if you’re pro-UT and the polar opposite if you’re for pretty much anybody else) entering the house of the #2 team in the nation (don’t say that too loud anywhere in that state unless you want to hear a lot of bad words associated with Florida’s football team).

A terrific defensive struggle ensued, with Alabama winning, but not dominating, the entire game.  Near the end, the score was 12-3, favor of the Elephants, when Tennessee - first, recovered a fumble and then finally scored a touchdown - the only one either team scored the whole game.  No worries, less than two minutes to go and the crowd feeling like it was their time to take over (if anyone had left the stadium, and I doubt it, it would have been in an ambulance).

Somehow, the young, brash Vols (it is true that the team takes on the personality of its coach) recovered an onside kick (no fluke either, replays showed it was perfectly executed) and, how do you do, they marched right into field goal range, lining up for a very makeable 44-yard field goal.  The sideline shot of Lane Kiffin (the Vols’ new leader) pumping his fist brought to mind someone who, without anyone in the audience being the wiser, had choreographed the game exactly the way he wanted and now, all that remained was the closing scene of the final act.

The Tide had already blocked one Big Orange field goal attempt and replays (as well as UA coach Nick Saban’s post game remarks) showed that all 11 Alabama defenders were going hell-bent for the block, so had the UT holder picked up the snap and run left, he’d have been able to run to all the way back to Knoxville if he’d so chosen.  But even Lane Kiffin’s aren’t that large.  So, the ball was kicked - and, again, blocked - by Terrence Cody, a massive human being, who had blocked another field goal earlier in the contest.     

In his exuberance, Cody tore off his helmet - while the ball was still in play, meaning the game was not yet over.  A rule that was instituted a few years ago, in an effort to cut down on excessive celebration and showboating, was that, should a player take off his helmet while the ball is still live (or even following a score), it would result in a 15-yard penalty.  It was mainly put in for those players who were trying to draw attention to themselves and I do not believe that was Cody’s intent yesterday.  But he did do it nonetheless. 

So, did the officials make the right call?  No . . . not in terms of the flag that should have been thrown for “excessive celebration.”  However, the penalty would not have affected the game’s outcome because the infraction came after the block, meaning it was Alabama’s ball.  And there would not have been another kick from, gasp, 15 yards closer!

Let’s get back to the theme at the beginning of the post.  Another fact - and I’m calling it a fact because I truly believe this to be true - had the referee called that penalty on “Mount” Cody, the officials (plural) would not have left that arena alive.  That part of the country is “shoot first, ask questions later.”  Now, if you’re asking me if I don’t think that saner heads would have prevailed and the Tide fans wouldn’t have been reasonable enough to wait for the explanation before turning Bryant-Denny Stadium into a riotus venue on the order of a South American soccer facility, you’re right.  I don’t think that would happen and I’m as serious as I can be when I say bodily harm would have come to at least one and maybe more of the officials.  Which is why, as William James said:

“The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”   �

What is the American spectator’s favorite sport?

Not too much intrigue here, as I imagine by now, everybody would have figured out what our country’s favorite spectator sport is - second guessing.  Oh yeah, of course.  After all, that’s what makes watching sports so much fun.  You, the fan/expert, telling your friends at the sports bar what the manager/coach/player should do.  Then, if what you say should be done, actually is done - and it works, you look like the genius you’re passing yourself off as.  Kinda like there was a microphone planted & whoever made the brilliant move did so because of your wisdom.

But what if he/she/they don’t do what you recommend?  Two possibilities: what actually happened didn’t work out (you knew that all along - see, that’s why people should be paying more  and closer attention to your brilliance) OR what actually happened did work (in which case you say, “Yeah, but had it been done my way, the results would have been as - or even more - productive”).

The one bugaboo: What you espouse is the option chosen but the results don’t work out.  That’s when you extol the sensational defense or counter move executed by the opponent or, what you said is simply something to set up the opponent for a similar opportunity later in the contest or, how no matter if the correct move is made, how much of a factor luck plays in sports, and on and on with a litany of excuses which you truly believe make you look even more knowledgable than when you made the initial remark.

The line that has always broken me up is the classic: “They went to the well once too often.”  Here’s what I’ve always wondered: “How do you know you’ve gone to the well once too often - until you’ve actually been there once too often?”  If a guy throws six straight fast balls and no one’s touched him, then he gets rocked on the seventh, how was he supposed to know the seventh one was the “once too often?”  Why didn’t he question after, maybe, the fourth one, “I don’t know, will the fifth will be once too often?”  Or, the football team that runs the ball four plays in a row and gains 7, 9, 15 and 8 yards, then runs it & gets stuffed at the line.  Went to the well once too often!  A basketball team pounds it inside to their stud post player in a tight game five times in a row and he scores or gets fouled - or both - each time.  On the sixth, he gets rejected or stripped or forced into a turnover.  Went to the well once too often!

When it comes down to commentators or fans, the rule of thumb is basically this:

“People who have all the answers don’t know all the questions.”

P.S. This blog (first posted on 6/21/07) was selected for today after I watched Game 5 of the ALCS last night and, although I wasn’t with the self-proclaimed expert, was close enough to hear his every comment.  His knowledge on when to make pitching changes alone (for both managers) ruined the evening - and I had no vested interest in which team won.

P.P.S. I must be losing it!  The last thing I do each night before going to bed is write the next day’s blog.  However, for it to be dated the following day, I have to wait until 11:00 pm to hit “Publish.”  Usually that’s not a problem as I seldom finish before 11.  Last night I finished a little earlier and went to bed, knowing I’d be waking up in an hour and a half (as I do every night, like clockwork - whether due to the drugs I take for my back pain, getting older, or some other mysterious reason).  Last night, though, I simply forgot to publish the blog - and didn’t realize it until I just sat down in front of the computer tonight (Friday) at midnight.  So here’s the Friday blog, published on Saturday.

Jeff Fisher was asked to introduce Tony Dungy, one of the classiest people on the planet (and former coach of the Indianapolis Colts), at a charity dinner in Nashville, TN.  In order to inject some levity into the event, which is entirely proper and in very good taste (people are known to donate more when they’re smiling), he wore a #18 Colts jersey - which happens to be the jersey Colts’ quarterback Peyton Manning wears.  So far, it sounds like a perfect story line.  Yet, controversy immediately followed.

The rub?  The NFL’s Tennessee Titans, who call Nashville home - and whose coach is Jeff Fisher - are off to their worst start ever at 0-6.  Worse, they are coming off of a 59-0 shellacking at New England.  Add to that the statement Fisher made after revealing that he was wearing Manning’s jersey: “I just wanted to feel like a winner.” 

When Fisher pulled this stunt, he did so out of respect for his good friend.  Fisher is the longest tenured coach in the NFL.  Dungy won the Super Bowl in 2007.  Two close friends, two highly respected coaches and gentlemen, yet some people, including some of the Titans’ players, got upset because, in an attempt to make an evening a fun, light-hearted affair, one honored the other by jokingly wearing the jersey of the quarterback who led the guest speaker’s team to a championship.  The quarterback who, by the way, went to the University of Tennessee and is revered there.

Did people get bent out of shape because the team is 0-6?  Of course!  If the Titans had the record they did last year at this time (when they won the division), do you think anybody would be upset?  Of course!  Some people today spend their time trying to find things to criticize.  You know, the kind of person who wins the megajackpot lottery - and then complains because of how much is taken out in taxes.  As for the players becoming indignant over their coach’s attire and witticism - if you don’t like it, why didn’t your sorry asses play worth a flip in New England?  No team - NO TEAM - in the NFL loses to another 59-0 without the loser quitting!  What you’re saying - now - you should have thought about when you were whining about the snowstorm (that, by the way, BOTH teams had to play in) and giving whatever percent you want to call it.  Teams always talk about giving 110% - which any college educated person (accounting for maybe 75% of the members of the Titans) knows is impossible.  Just as it’s impossible to give a negative percentage of an effort - although the effort expended by Tennessee approached a number to the left of zero.  

These people (the ones on the street who complain, not the players - they just ought to be embarrassed and thankful they weren’t arrested for stealing the money the organization paid them for last Sunday) are ruining day-to-day life for the rest of us - only because people (like me, come to think of it) write about them and their petty comments.  Each one of those stories ought to come with a warning label:  “The surgeon general has found the following story to be unhealthy for any normal person seeking to enjoy life.  Read at your own risk - but he strongly urges all to refrain.” 

As Hubert H. Humphrey once said:

“The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.”

Every coach enters the profession, dreaming of the moment he or she gets to lift up the trophy, cut the net down, get thrown in the pool, or whatever other defining ritual goes along with becoming the leader of a championship team.

It never happens as often as any coach likes.  But, . . . other than maybe the coaches who lead the pay-for-play guys, i.e. the pros, there are other moments that make the coach realize he or she is making a difference.  

In the math classes I teach, I often relate “life stories” to learning math (not as difficult as you might think).  When the subject of hard work came up a few days ago, I told the class the foillowing story, even though it happened before any of them were born.

In the fall of 1980, I had just taken a job as an assistant coach at the University of Tennessee when the phone in my office rang.  It was our secretary, saying there was an “Earl Cureton” on the phone.  I had coached a 6′9″ center by that name during the one and only season (1976-77) I served as an assistant coach at Robert Morris College.  At the end of that season (Earl’s sophomore year), he left as well, transferring to play in his hometown of Detroit - at UD - for their coach, Dick Vitale.  Still, since it had been so long since I’d talked to Earl, I thought it was a hoax, one of my coaching friends playing some sort of practical joke on me.

However, when I answered the phone, I heard a guy whispering, “coach fertig?” 

I replied, “Earl, is that you?  Where are you - and why are you whispering?”

“yeah, coach, it’s me and i’m in a phone booth at the spectrum.”  The Spectrum was the building the Philadelphia 76ers used to play.  Oh yeah, and a phone booth is where people used to go to make calls before cell phones were invented.  “coach, i think i just made the 76ers -  it was down to me and another guy and i just saw the equipment guy cleaning out his locker!“  Yeah, I’d say that’s was hint-and-a-half that guy was gone.  He said this with as much enthusiasm as a person who was whispering could.

“Hey, Earl, that’s great!  Congratulations!”

Now, he finally got up his courage to be heard - or else he got tired of the clandestine tone he’d been using up to now.  “Coach, I had to call somebody because I was so excited I just wanted to jump up and high five somebody, but the guy’s locker on one side of me is Moses Malone and the locker on the other side is Dr. J’s.”  (Good idea, on holding off on the celebration since they probably knew they were making the squad).  “The reason I’m calling you, coach, is to thank you for all the help you gave me.  I think you know what I’m talking about.” 

I have to admit I didn’t know exactly what he meant - until he jogged my memory.  “You remember that day in your office when you told me there were a million guys like me and that every day I worked, I would pass someone by, BUT every day I didn’t work, someone would pass me by?  Well, coach, I wanted to let you know that I never forgot that and everyday I didn’t feel like going hard or wanted to take a day off, I thought of what you said and was so afraid somebody was going to pass my by, I fought my way through whatever was dragging me down and worked my butt off.”  Come to think of it, I did remember Dick telling me that, during the year Earl was redshirting (due to the transfer rule - and the only year he was under Dickie V, who would take the Detroit Pistons job that following season), Earl was the hardest working redshirt, i.e. a guy who was only allowed to practice, he had ever seen.  

I now had perfect recall of that day and said to him, “Earl, do you remember who else was in my office that day?”

“Sure,” he said.  Larry and Charlie.”

Right,” I told him.  “And what are they doing now?”

“Last time I heard they were just hanging out.”

“That’s because they were part of the million other guys.”

We exchanged “goodbyes” & “good lucks” and after I hung up, I wasn’t sure who was flying higher - him or me.  For the record, Earl Cureton played twelve (12) seasons in the NBA or seven different teams - and helped two of them win NBA Championships (and the rings that go along with them) by being a key backup, first to Moses in Philly and then to Hakeem Olajuwon with the Houston Rockets.

It’s moments like these (many of which you don’t find out until your career is over) that justify all the hard work and long hours (and even the disappointments) you experienced.  The actual line I told Earl (and Charlie and Larry) in my office that (now) memorable day is worth repeating:

“There are a million guys like you and every day you work, you pass one of them by, but, every day you don’t work, someone passes you by - and you’ll never catch him.”

This story is one of over 200 from my book, Life’s A Joke.  For other excerpts, click on the “Jack’s Book” tab on the Home Page of this website. �