Get Over It: No One’s All Good, Nor All Bad
America has become, if it wasn’t already, a terribly cynical nation (many of this author’s comments having contributed to that flaw in character). The line, though,  I’ve heard spoken more and more since the turn of the century is, “In the U.S., we build our heroes up just so we can tear them down.” Often, it’s a laugh track we’re searching for. Provoking laughter at someone else’s expense is what many people take extreme pleasure in. It’s fun - and so easy to do.
Infidelity has produced more than its share of snide remarks - be they on national TV, at the water cooler, over the internet or via the text message. These range from tastefully funny to obscenely sick and touch nearly all sections in between. Whether it’s about acts of a lewd nature (from Larry Craig to Bill Clinton), illegal transactions (from Charles Barkley and Eliot Spitzer to Mike Tyson), simple flings (John Edwards and Charles Robb) or “true love affairs” (from Lance Armstrong to Mark Sanford), late night talk show hosts will never suffer from a loss for material.
However, the line is drawn when the result of an extramarital transgression ends in death, as was the case with Steve McNair. When the news that McNair was shot to death and there was another fatality as well, most Tennessee Titan fans - as well as friends and family of the former star - were in complete and utter disbelief.  One obvious reason is that getting shot to death is such a barabric means of dying. But just as shocking to those who knew and followed McNair’s career, was the fact that he was the leader, The Man, who had turned around a moribund franchise by playing in a much more physical style than anyone would expect from a quarterback, yet displaying the durability of a lineman. Even more shocking, from a reputation standpoint, is that he was one of the most generous (especially for a non-native Tennessean) individuals who ever graced the Volunteer State.
As more and more facts are introduced, it turns out Steve McNair was not what we all had hoped and was we all feared. He was not perfect. He was human. Please see my blog from 6/27/09 for a wonderful perspective on, what always was and apparently still is, the potentially deadly act of infidelity. We were stunned to find out he wasn’t the role model the youngsters looked up to and their parents desperately were seaching for. He was just another oversexed professional athlete, entitled to all of God’s creations. Someone who we felt was headed for Mount Olympus for his future residence, but one whose eternal address will probably be somewhere on the other side of sea level.
Yet, before we do a complete 180 degree turn on someone who, up until a few days ago, we thought was the ultimate hero, let’s take the time to realize that, like many of us, Steve McNair was a troubled soul. I said as much last night to a friend as we were (semi) watching our two sons’ basketball practice, when a young, extremely indignant woman who, “had heard enough” blurted out, “Who are you to judge?!? Maybe he had an open marriage and his wife knew exactly what he was doing?”
She seemed to be spoiling for a fight (and if I were to give her one, I seriously doubt it would have been her first - or even second - of the day). “Yeah, you’re probably right,” as I could feel the cynicism building - not proud of it, but knowing I couldn’t hold it back either. “But, if what you say is true, somehow she must have skipped over the fine print, giving the mistress the authority to make her a widow at her discretion!”Â
Right at this point (it must have been to prove the world is a zero-sum balance after all), some guy from behind us, bellows, “The bum got what he deserved.” I knew it was time to change location because, in regard to that statement, I would have to disagree (at not at all, respectfully).
Nobody derserves what Steve McNair got. If those shots that were fired at him had only been near misses, and Steve was visibly shaken, scared and exhausted, but still alive, I wonder what his answer to the question, “All that sex you’re having with this ‘other woman,’ is it worth it?”
At that time, it’s extremely likely that his infidelity issues would have ceased and he could bring himself to see the point - real or imagined (damn, there’s that cynicism again) - that Jon Bon Jovi made in his 60 Minutes interview. When he was asked how, when groupies were crawling over his wife (of over 20 years) to get to him, he refused to partake, his answer was:
“Because I got it right the first time.”  Â